my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
