Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize