her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
the condom got lost in my hair
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
