Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
