It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Damn victory sex feels great
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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