The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
