hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
