I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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