I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
