wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
