So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize