i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
