Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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