Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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