You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
