did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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