My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
