Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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