Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
