recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
