addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
home. puking in laundry basket.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
