I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
