I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
