my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The beer is more important than you right now.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
