I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
