So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
