your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
