last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
