More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
