hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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