why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
