Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
