love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
