Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
