I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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