I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
