You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize