Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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