do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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