i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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