Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

you want me

(978): View more from Massachusetts

i'd rather choke on a dick.

Fav 3 1373 1994
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(650): View more from California

Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite

(650): View more from California

Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good

Fav 7 744 1013
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(732): View more from New Jersey

The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?

Fav 11 4321 1254
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(303): View more from Colorado

I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes

Fav 17 5837 1570
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(785): View more from Kansas

I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.

Fav 7 4318 1616
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time

Fav 11 3715 1421
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(520): View more from Arizona

Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.

Fav 6 2917 1159
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(+61): View more from Australia

Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.

Fav 2 662 507
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"

Fav 1 24 36
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