if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You're a disaster
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