i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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