i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
