Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
