White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
