so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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