Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize