Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
