I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You are a genius and a whore.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
