I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
