There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
