Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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