The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
