Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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