if you like me you must not know who I am
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The Olympian is in my bed
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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