i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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