hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
