You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
