Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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