i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
