he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
