Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize