that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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