The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize