I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
