I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
