The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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