Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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