How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
